Baby Steps

This is most certainly not going to be a personal blog. By that I mean no more rantings, life is unfair cries and   such. Due to some unforeseen circumstances and some self-created mistakes, I am likely to have a lot of time on my hand in the near future.

Over the last few days, almost everyone who speaks to me has asked me one of the two things- ‘So koi result aaya?’ or ‘Koi Job interview ka call aaya’. Of course there are variations about waitlist movements and more. And mumbling a hesitant ‘Not Really’, makes people put their best sympathetic face forward. Or like S enquired yesterday, truly incredulous at my insufficiently depressed demeanor ‘Teri fatt nahi rahi?’

Well for some reason, nahi, m no longer wishing to die (Oh ok, I never wished that, I still have to visit Sydney, blow my parents’ money when I get married, force my child to learn taekwondo and certain more ambitious goals). After a lot of painful rationalization, I do think, this could be the best thing to happen to me. My completely unreasonable but insuppressible anger with life, parents, BF, friends and God has dissolved. Not being much of a religious person in any case, I do feel if there really is an entity like God, he/she would be quite amused by me. I think our one-sided relationship involved a lot of name calling, and that should end now. 

Well, suddenly there’s so much to do in life, and monotonously doing a job which I hate, isn’t going to help my cause. So here's me, having quit my job, I do realize the need to do a lot of introspection as to whether corporate life is really for me, whether I am aimlessly targeting goals without knowing why. Probably next year, I wouldn’t need to come up with creative fake answers, if at all I go down that road again.

So while I fluctuate between feeling excited and feeling depressed about the status quo, I do hope to use it wisely. This blog is just going to be a product of that effort.

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